Opposition to Patty in Leadership is
NO Witch Hunt

OK, here's the deal - around January 7th "myersjoel" posted Opposition to Patty in leadership is no witch hunt on the NewPacifica yahoogroup, informing all as to why Patty Heffley should have her epaulettes ripped off. I wrote a "Salem witch" fantasy, tongue-in-cheek reply. Deciding to repost it here, I fretted that one really had to read myersjoel's original, which I remembered being tedious and long; however on rereading, I found it to be, in many instances, much funnier than my attempt at satire. Ever the procrastinator, I decided to offer you both - but in different windows. To read the original click this button

and situate the smaller window that opens off to the side. If you lose track of it, just click the "Polemic, please!" button. 

To read my response, don't click anything - just keep going.

A No Witch Hunt Production
Frank Fitzgerald

Date: Tue, 08 Jan 2002
To: NewPacifica@yahoogroups.com

This is not a witch hunt? OK, great to know this. For a minute while reading this I thought maybe it was a witch hunt. But, now I "get it" - this is a parody, right? OK, now that I got that straight, lemme see if I can picture what is going on...

The mist clears, revealing a gathering
 

The Chiefmoho Accuser stands forth, Most Holy Book held firmly to his robed breast.

Patricia Heffley, what say ye to the charges?

Deny ye were a major influence in a group which unashamedly incanted for democracy before the anointed and sanctified time?

Canst thou deny that thee did also yell, scream and bolt (yes, brethren - bolt!) in a most unGodly fashion from a meeting of a group which I had to leave (but nay bolting did I) when I found that it was irrevocably and damnably committed to salvation before the MOST HOLY GRAIL could be returned to the righteous?

Canst thou deny thou hast frequently expressed fear that inserting tab F in hole B before conflating L with A and B - is the devil's work?

And hussy, dare thee stand here UNDIFFERENTIATED from the Dingeman? And dost thou not stubbornly maintain this undifferentation whilst at the same tyme pursuing wily-nily, opportunistic efforts at self-differentiation? Canst thou deny this differentation of differentations? Is this not an foul and evil plan to confuse by differenting and not differenting - as thou pleaseth?

Dost thou deny that Brian Williams, who thereafter abruptly departed from this village, engaged in a tantrum? Darest thou explain what this has to do with anything else thee is accused of? Ha! Me thoughest not!

Deny, wouldst thou, that thee has GUSHED in POLITICAL ADMIRATION for Paul of Rienzo, well after his disgrace before the Elders of the clan?

Canst thou deny that all this foulness makes clear your motives for... for... wait yet a minute... your, uh... present... hold ye on, it's coming back to me... your present... (the Elders lean forward, the better to hear every carefully chosen word) - PRESENT negativity AND emotional dislike-to-hatred of many of the Anointed Innocents?

Three of the daughters of the Godly fall upon the oaken floor before the shocked assembly. Shackled by spirits unseen and writhing in soul-wrenching trance, they point at the accused Mistress Heffley and in bone-chilling, unearthly fashion intone as one hellish voice -
 

Reconsideration, rededication and rectification will have to precede rewinning the confidence of potential followers, which define leadership. Rededication, reconsideration, and rectirecting will have to precede wineing the conflation of potential potentialities, which define followership. Rerectification, refibration and recticonflation will precede precedents with the confidence of potential followershippers, which redefine the leadership of dealership. Reconsternation and rectidirection of the rerectification will recede winning the confidence game of potential leadership. 
(repeated countless tymes)

The Assembled draw back, trembling and horrified at the satanic spectacle displayed before them, yet grateful to have witnessed the unfolding of the TRUTH of the GUILT.

The Chiefmoho Accuser stands forth and addresses them thusly: 

Brothers and sisters, let us give Thanks and offer Praise.

 
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Updated 4/5/02